The "Inevitability of Demise" Danse Macabre T-Shirt

Behold the King! He thinks he rules the roost, the grand poobah of the terrestrial sphere, draped in velvet and hubris. But look closer, ye consumers of disposable fashion! The Skeleton, that grinning democrat, that great equalizer who cares not for your tax bracket or your verified checkmark, takes the lead. It is the Danse Macabre, the jitterbug of the grave, rendered here in stark, uncompromising ink. Why purchase this T-shirt? Because, like the poor confused monarch depicted herein, you too are distracted by shiny things while the Reaper taps his bony foot. It is the ultimate statement piece for the office party, the wake, or the quiet desperation of a Tuesday. It says, "I am aware of the fleeting nature of power," and also, "I enjoy high-quality, pre-shrunk cotton blends." Wear it to remind your boss that his quarterly projections are dust in the wind. Wear it to remind yourself that even the mightiest must eventually do the skeletal shuffle. The Onion-Style Fact of the Day: Study Finds 100% of People Who Say "YOLO" Eventually Do, In Fact, Only Live Once DUBLIN—In a staggering report released by the Trinity College Department of Existential Dread, researchers have confirmed that the popular acronym "YOLO" is statistically accurate. Furthermore, historical records indicate that during the papal coronation ceremony between 1409 and 1963, a monk would stand before the new Pope, burn a bundle of flax, and shout "Sic transit gloria mundi" ("Thus passes the glory of the world"), functionally serving as the medieval equivalent of a Twitter user quote-tweeting you to humble your ratio.