THE GIGGLING GOBLIN PIE POSTER

One day in a forest Jack came upon a home. There he met an old woman whose name was Crome. She invited him inside, offered food and drink. "The pie you do not touch". Her words made Jack think. The pie set on the counter was whole and round, its dough bulged as though much filling were abound. Its crust looked not crisp, but a soft golden-brown. The thought of not having any caused Jack to frown. "That is the Giggling Goblin Pie", she then said. "If you were to touch it you would soon be dead. The pie now sleeps, but if touched would be waked then you'd become its meal, eaten raw, unbaked." "I do say", she continued, "it is a beloved pet to me. Heed my words, I'll not cause the death of thee." At hearing her words, laughter raced through Jack's mind: She is old and foolish, yet she is so kind. "You have offered all your foods, but not your pie. I will surely miss that", he said with a sigh. Jack was soon set to leave when the meal was past. "Sir", said the old woman, "must you leave so fast? Although I go soon to a food market I know, please, stay. I'll return one day after tomorrow. And while I'm away you may call this your home." "Thank you", said Jack. "Rest is best before I roam." She prepared to leave the house, said little more; Crome waved a goodbye as she closed the door. Little food had there been so Jack ate with care, yet one day past and the shelves were nearly bare. By early next morn, food was scarce on each shelf; Jack looked on the counter then said to himself: "Look at that pie, filled and whole. Eat it I could. I just know i would love it, maybe I should... But wait! It smells as though it were freshly baked! A honeyed scent... Or am I not fully waked? It smells well heated. How did this come to be? This must be God's will as a gift unto me." That sweet scent came from an aromatic yawn performed by the pie. If only Jack had sawn. He lifted the pie, then it stirred and wiggled. Then it cracked a smile and began to giggle. "By all that's unholy, this pie is a creature! With such monstrous fangs, an appalling feature!" What Jack touched was living, though it looked like dough. Although he shook his hand its grip would not let go. When my host had spoke, thought Jack, I'd sworn her mad. 'Heed my words...', she said. I wish now that I had. Half out of his mind, horror was what Jack saw and screamed when his hand was crushed in horror's jaw. Jack fought with his teeth and with his right knuckles; The beast flinched and had almost stopped its chuckles. He hurled it down. It seemed to lower its chin, pull itself up and give a devilish grin. Jack cocked his leg back to kick the beast like a ball, but missed with such force that he nearly did fall. The beast then lept up and rent Jack's lip then tore through his shirt and ate part of the hip. Bite after bite it continued with a laugh, chewing through the waste. Jack would soon be inhalf. It giggled and gobbled and laughed as though drunk, gave a monstrous belch and this scent was pure funk.