Tailed Pepper: Mediaeval Cubeb Botanical Notebook

Cubeb is a pepper with a tail. Piper cubeba. The King of Portugal banned it in 1640 to protect his black pepper monopoly. He failed. The tailed pepper survived. Now it decorates a notebook for your microwave oatmeal. This is the ultimate defeat of the Portuguese empire. Look at the inscription. The Latin text translates to its unalterable physiological state: "A type of pepper with a tail, brought from the Indies, prescribed by doctors to purge the head and spirits." Hot and dry in the second degree. This is not a suggestion. It is the law of the humours. Mediaeval physicians ground it up to cure repulsive breath and repel the incubus. You will write down instructions for a tuna casserole. Without the incubus. The tragic irony is beautiful. The botanical art is a promise of ancient Javanese alchemy. The reality is blank lined paper. The pages are trapped in a metal spiral. Write your grocery lists here. The ghosts of fourteenth-century spice merchants will watch you purchase terrible cheese.