Relax: This is for SCIENCE Greeting Card

The way you\'re carrying on, you'd think that nobody had EVER been bathed in the luminous rays of a Dimorphous Deconstructing Derange-O-Matic. Stop that squirming right NOW! It can be so irritating, dealing with those experimental subjects who, all right, might not have volunteered, as such, to further the goals of science. Half the time they seem to start out as door to door salesmen and meter readers. But whatever their origins, is it too much to ask that they should just lie there quietly while you attach the electrodes? That's very delicate work, there. They ought to be a little more appreciative. That's all I'm saying. Just the right card for the mad scientist in your life; also makes a nifty invitation for those elusive experimental subjects.