The Waterfowl Hunter: Cute Golden Retriever Cushion

Lord Tweedmouth spent the latter half of the 19th century carefully breeding a dog that could plunge into freezing Scottish lochs and retrieve dead birds with a mouth so soft it wouldn't bruise the meat, only to have his crowning achievement end up eating drywall because it was bored on a Tuesday. The Golden Retriever is a walking contradiction. They possess an incredibly high, single-minded intelligence regarding the retrieval of objects, yet their baseline emotional state is that of a village idiot who has just won the lottery. They genuinely believe every human on earth exists solely to scratch their ears and distribute small cubes of cheddar. This pillow is a highly preferable alternative to the real thing, primarily because it doesn't smell like a stagnant swamp. Look at the face on it. It captures the exact liquid, pleading expression they deploy precisely three seconds before stealing a turkey sandwich off the kitchen counter. Most breed-specific decor is horribly sanitised. Cheap pastel junk. This graphic gets the broad, benevolent skull and the soft, floppy ears that act as natural mud-magnets exactly right. Toss it on your armchair. The fabric is dense and woven to withstand a significant amount of household abuse. You won't have to vacuum a pound of pale blonde hair off it every morning. The zipper is completely concealed, which is a vital design choice. The moment you turn your back, the actual dog is going to try and drag this thing through the muddy backyard.