When does the narwhal bacon? At midnight. But you didn't hear that here....
This is the secret question to ask those you suspect to be redditors in the wild. Now you can ask it implicitly of every person who sees your shirt! Perhaps you will hear many "midnights."
Of course those who have never heard of/do not frequent reddit will be utterly baffled by your shirt...but narwhals make fine conversation pieces anyway, and if someone doesn't love bacon, you don't want to be interacting with them anyway.
(And if anyone answers "spacedicks," simply run in the other direction and do not look back.)